lamentations....

I have a child sitting in my room right now that I feel so bad for that I don't even know what to do. This child was kicked out of a room a block earlier because his shoes smell so bad that kids couldn't breath around him. He was able to get socks on...which helped, but he really needs new shoes. He's a bit autistic - but DEFINITELY not stupid. He's so worried that people will make fun of him because of what happened, he can't sit still...I have promised him that it will not happen in my class, but he has put his head down and is trembling....

Curriculum is thrown completely out the window when I have a situation like this. This is a kid that just needs someone to let him know it's ok. Thankfully, I do have a pretty nice class right now, who know my expectations of not bullying others or making fun of others in my room. They know if I hear or see them in the hallway what will happen to them if they are the ones perpetrating this act.

This is the definitive situation where people that say that teachers don't do anything for kids should be punched right between the eyes. This is the situation where people who think that we can just take little "pegs" and put them in the correct spot need to be hung upside down by their toenails.

These are the kids I teach everyday....I just wish people would understand that testing and curriculum aren't here right now and may not be until things are right in his student's world.

one of my favorite things....

I love working with people....I love how creative people in my profession can be. Today I received things from two different people. One was a creative way to teach my students author's purpose. It was interactive, had really funny and cool youtube videos, and a great way to remember the purpose....PIE (Persuade, Inform, Entertain).

The second was a cool graphic organizer/model to help them start to think about ways to write persuasive papers in a 5 paragraph form. It was a kind of fill in the blank/recall method of doing it - but I was able to figure out if the kids really knew the story AND it was a model to show them what we would be looking for in their persuasive papers.

Again, later in the day I was able to meet with my Literacy team of teachers. We sat down and tried to figure out when to teach and how to teach 4 skills....we were able to come up with some really cool ideas and work together. I like those days when things work out and everything just clicks. I love the idea that we can sit together and commisserate, bounce ideas off each other and be creative.

Now, I know that was a lot of "teachery" talk - but it's just an example of what we do. It's another example of how teachers keep changing things up, reinventing the way we teach the kids and how we are trying to differentiate for different learners. It's what all the testing IS NOT doing.

As positive as I am about my day today...last week was something different. I wanted to blog about it, but it was still too close and fresh in my mind. It was still too painful and frustrating. Last week was disasterous in my opinion. We ended up our unit by assessing them...yes, they made gains, but it wasn't great. Then we had to pre-assess them for the next unit AND do a pre-writing assessment on top of this. There was no time for instruction, no time for them to learn new skills, no time for us to differentiate how we were teaching them.

In this new world of assessment driven teaching - there's no time for teachers to really sit down and collab with each other...to look at how our students learn and come with ways to tap into their potential....to really make it interesting for them to acquire the information we need to teach them. I know that our testing is bad...our scores, while still above the national average for our state are dipping, but the way in which we did things has also changed. This year we will be assessing our students with a new "ITBS"...it's revamped and, I'm hoping, will be more updated for them to take.

I hope that this year keeps having more positives than negatives....

gee?! ya think?

I just read something on MSNBC that headlined..."The most experience is one to two years". They were talking about teachers. Hmmm....let me think about this....one or two years. I wonder why?

This year I have felt more pressure to get kids' testing scores up than any other year. With the threat that that teacher based or merit based pay is on the horizon - that pressure increases about ten-fold. So why would we have more teachers with one or two years? Perhaps because the rest of the veteran teachers are....oh let me see if I can get this right?.....SICK AND TIRED OF TESTING?!?!?!?!

As a veteran teacher, I am tired of being told that how a student does on a test will determine whether or not I am doing a good job in my room. COME SEE MY ROOM!!!!!!!! This is my challenge again to those doubters that we have it easy, that all the children are behaving and that we can get stuff done every single day the way it needs to go. Seriously, I am inviting you in. I want people to come in and watch what I do everyday. I want you to see how much time I get during the day to plan, to collaborate with my colleages, to see how many speed bumps there are along the way, to deal with students that aren't always behaving....EVERYTHING. I want people to come in and watch and then to consider how unimportant that test is to me at times.

When I tell people that I'm a middle school teacher, inevitably, their response is...."better you than me....I could not do that job." Well, you know what? Perhaps they're right....perhaps they can't, but I like what I do. Not everyday....but overall in the grand scheme, I do.

What I don't like is being told by people who HAVE NEVER been in the profession, how to do my job and what makes a good teacher. I don't like people making educational policy that don't know a lick about urban or public education. I don't like it when people try to tell me how easy my job is when they've never done it before.

People aren't blocks that can be pounded in a space just to fit and especially children. Each person learns differently. Paper and pencil tests just don't cut it anymore....they can't check for everything....they just can't.

So, when I see that most of the teaching population only has one or two years under them...I'm not surprised. Oh, and by the way....most of those teachers are coming out with things that they can teach us veterans....so don't think their lack of experience is always a negative thing!

each class...

Each class is so different from the other...just as each student is. I'm finding this year that this class is somewhat less mature than my kids last year - but oddly, I like it. They still have a childlike innocence and manner that I'm ok with. It can be annoying at times...especially when you wish they would follow directions the first or second time and not the 15th...but the childlike manner is still attractive.

Right now I have a group in my room...one boy asked if he could dust...he is...everything that he can find to dust. I have kids working together to construct a "building" with Jenga blocks and yet another watching a student create a poster for drama class. It's a different mix of personalities, maturity, and genders.

What I've learned about myself recently is that I'm somewhat unhappy in what I do. I still love teaching but I'm also looking for something else....something that will help make me feel a little more complete. I've found that it's music...and that I am going to have to do something with it or "perhaps perish!"

But even now as I watch the kids running, shouting, pushing and shoving in the hall to get to lunch....I'm still content here as well. They have ups and downs just like adults and I can safely say that there will be times that I wonder why I'm doing this - but I'm still ever in awe of these kids at times....

new year...

It's been a while I know...while everyone thought I was doing fun stuff - which I was, I was also working.

So far this year, I've been pleasantly surprised. I came into the year not really wanting to be here. It wasn't the kids or staff or parents...it was just a feeling of extreme tiredness. Once things got going though...I was good.

This summer Ron Clark came out with a new book, "The End of Molasses Classes". I was very excited to read it and it hit home. He has a way of saying things that you want to say and in a nicer way than sometimes teachers want to say it. I enjoyed the book a lot! GO AND GET A COPY!!!

I have some pretty interesting students this year. Skill wise - it's like they clustered my classes, but I can work with that and am also so very lucky to have a collaborative teacher in my room for an entire block! Last year....it was kind of crazy. Our special education teachers could only be there for a certain amount of time...it was harder to truly collaborate. The woman I work with this year is hard working and knows how to teach differently than I do...which I really need. I've worked with other collaborative teachers in the past and each one has taught me something. I appreciate ANYONE who works in special education...all the paperwork and extra little things they keep throwing at these guys is crazy!

I'm also starting to feel better about my new team. Last year, I returned to 7th grade after about 8 years in the 8th grade. I wasn't sure about where my place was on this new team...this year, I feel better. Our literacy department is working a little more fluidly as is our grade level team. I'm excited about what we could do this year. We're starting to create units and lessons that go along with our new IB program. I like the way it's heading and I hope that it goes well.

I'm starting to see myself as hopeful this year as we start. I'm trying to be positive....I'm trying to be hopeful and I'm trying to see the bigger picture right now.

I will say that I'm still feeling a little beat up from last year...and I can't say that it isn't still coming looking at today's paper and seeing what our state would like to move to...but I'm hoping that we can whether the storm. I guess we'll see how positive I can remain as well.... :-)

reflection...

This week I learned two things...first - I really enjoy sharing ideas with other teachers and secondly - that I am headed to the dark side and have truly started teaching to the assessment. On Tuesday of this week, I had the opportunity to leave the building. This was really cool for me. I haven't been gone but a half day all year. The other part, is that I am in a group of teachers that is rewriting the curriculum for the entire 7th grade Literacy. I felt very good to be asked to participate with this group of teachers. Without getting into all the details, it was a productive meeting AND it was interesting to hear all the things that are going on around in the district. It was nice to connect and reconnect to other teachers in the district. I really did enjoy the day. And we got A LOT done! :-) The second thing - which has slowly been a depressing insight to me, is that we have truly started teaching to the assessments. Last Friday and this Thursday we had the kids take assessments to see if what we covered they were able to learn and understand. The results were very telling. I found myself sitting down last night and trying to figure out how to get the kids to pass the next assessment by teaching almost, with the same terminology, the test we will have during the next term. Today I sat and talked with the students. I told them how they did on both assessments and then I laid it on the line. I said that we had to figure out a way to do better on the next assessments. I told them that we'd sit down after the pretest, go over the answers and talk through ways to get them to the answers that they needed for the post test....as I did this - I cringed inside. While I understand the benefit of assessing students, I don't agree with how we're are being asked to do this. I wish people would understand that these assessments are not how we show what our kids know. These assessments only show how they did THAT day. It's only a score on a piece of paper. Unfortunately, what people should be looking at, is not what the nation wants to look at....it's the other assessments we do, the observations we make, the mental notes we take - it's just so hard sometimes. I guess I'm just tired. It's getting to be the end of the year...the kids are tired and done. It's going to be an every day conversation to keep them as on task as they can be for a while...I'm hoping that they can do it....I'm hoping that I can do it.

It's the little things....

I've been discovering that it's the little things we do that make a big impact. Last year was hard for me personally. I could feel it in October and about the time of Winter Break - I actually was thinking of quiting and finding something else to do. I was really unhappy...I didn't feel like anything was going right or that anything I was doing was going right. It finally culminated last spring. I was asked to come down to talk with my principal....and got reamed. I mean I was flabergasted...I had no idea that I was doing so poorly - or that she felt I was doing so poorly. I left that meeting in tears and feeling like I was terrible at what I did. I felt like I had wasted a college degree. I went to another teacher in the building...we talked. I asked her what she thought and I thought about what she had said. I also went to my Literacy leader. Our conversation was helpful as well. We got to know each other a bit...I learned that sometimes she wasn't sure if she could be direct with me and she learned that she needed to be direct with me. I waited for two days and processed my situation...then I went back to my principal with the teacher I had originally spoken with. I went in, told her what I had heard, asked her some questions and we talked. It was productive. Today, my principal came to me again. This time she stopped me in the hall, she looked me in the eye and told me that I was doing a great job. She told to be happy with all that I had been doing this year and that I should be proud of my accomplishments. Today was the day that I felt appreciated and justified in my profession. I've learned that sometimes you need to take things - even the bad ones, and find something you can learn from the experience. And hopefully, you might even get a nice compliment in the end.